CancerChaser - Chapter 1

Chapter 1 ~ I didn't want to do this, but it has to be done. 2018 Edition

Trigger Warnings: Harassment, Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Narcissism

It was early 2016. I was coming home from QuikChek with a large coffee. The man known here as CancerChaser came up to me and started to talk to me. He talked to me about how he saw me in the post office before and we started having a conversation from there. He approached me with warm kindness, being nice to me despite meeting me for the first time. Nobody has ever gone out of their way to befriend me and treat me glowingly right off the bat. That alone made me feel special. I was very flattered that he seemed to like me. I felt very happy at the time make friends that easily. I wish this would happen often. As I mentioned in the introduction, I am anxious person who has suffered a history of hurt growing up. So if someone like CancerChaser comes up to me and treats me very nicely, I would be at ease and take it openly.

I had told him that I am looking for someone to play video games with and he told me he would do this. He talked about how his favorite game was Super Mario Bros. 3. Keep this in mind. I will be bringing it up later.

I should have known I was actually being manipulated by his deliberate actions. Now I know he was being nice to me for that reason. He never truly liked me, he simply saw me and felt attracted to me. Retroactively, I realize he was treating me in the same way someone would treat their romantic option. Because of his homosexuality, I was a man he loved. It was never meant to be friendship at all. It was like I was the beautiful girl being hit on by CancerChaser if he was straight.

We talked about what we liked. We added each other on Facebook and we exchanged phone numbers. We seemed to have hit it off well. Unfortunately, I would find out that we had different things in mind for each other, much later.

One day, a month after we first met, I had plans that ended up getting ruined. Having nothing to do, I called CancerChaser and had a conversation with him over the phone. I asked if I could come over to his house and he accepted. I often go to other people’s houses if they give me permission. I would gladly also let them in my home as well.

I was welcomed in by CC and he made me feel at home. I do not remember much of what of happened when I went to his house. I think this might damn me because my recollection is very low. I need to point out that I was never drugged at all. I also ate and drank nothing while I was inside his home. I know I was never raped and there was never a moment where my consent was violated at all during that visit and any other future visit at all. I also never legally signed anything, either, nor did I make any promises. I remember that we talked a lot in that day and in his house. I know I had a good time. I actually was nervous when I went there, but I felt good by the time I left. I naturally completely forgot what happened when I went there because of the later incidents are much more memorable.

Edit: I need amend this now, a day after I posted this, now that remember this. We did actually also hugged each other often when we met up in his house. Hugging is something I do often with friends and family often so its not out of the ordinary for hugging to happen. And it was entirely consensual.

What I can remember is that he had a roommate who he initially stated was his boyfriend but “still wanted” me. I know this because I saved one of my text conversations with CC. Recovered from an old phone that I stopped using but found recently. I always saw this as a friendship, not a relationship. I will elaborate on this further as it becomes more evident. I never met his roommate at all to this day. He often told me about some story where a girl he knew had a thin fit boyfriend and chose chubby person over him. No details besides that.

I need to explain myself. I never had any romantic partner before. I had never been hit on by any man or woman before. When I first met CC, I was completely unaware that his intentions were very romantic in nature. When I showed myself on camera in certain pictures, I was hit on by chubby chasers but they lived far away and never met me. CancerChaser was the first Chubby Chaser in real life. I also got invited to gay groups on Facebook and wanted friends from them. I did that because it was mostly obese people (chubs/bears), which I had comradely with. But I wasn’t a gainer. I just wanted friends I never wanted relationships with men because as I stated in the intro: I want a woman for to produce children of my own.

I should have known that he wanted me as a boyfriend. I only kept him around because I was lonely I thought it I could get him as a friend, we would bond with video games together, as he did told me that he enjoyed video games. I believed that he liked me and would do anything reasonable for me. I truly believed in him initially. I will not make mistakes like this again. From all of this experience I now know better and can recognize predatory behavior better, especially after all of the disgusting actions CC would later do.

If I make some serious mistakes when I went to his house, it’s because of inexperience. I did not know what to expect.

As my bond with CC grew, I felt happy to know someone I thought at the time valued me. I felt so happy that I wanted to tell him more about myself and open up to him about my past, as well as my trauma. When I eventually did open up which is a bit later, it was incomplete. He once wanted us to go for Starbucks, but we never ended up going through with that. Whether that was a date or not was never specified.