CancerChaser - Chapter 3

Chapter 3 ~ Even just laughing gets to him, too.

Trigger Warnings: Harassment, Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Narcissism

Three things I forgot to mention last chapter. And one of them is very difficult to post about. I’ll start with that.

First is what happened a day after CancerChaser’s pointless yet revealing tirade over a smartphone. A certain video was uploaded on YouTube and I happened to watch it. It was about internet drama between 2 friends who knew each over for 6 years. I will label them [H] and [A]. [H] seemed to be hyper reactive over minor slights and later posted hateful comments about [A]. [A] responded with a livestream addressing this situation. [H] evidently flagged the livestream and the video I watched at the time was the response to it. It really resonated with me at that moment. [H]’s apparent behavior had strong elements of CC’s hurtful attacks on me as well as J’s actions in the past a year before that.

I originally was going to link the video but I’ve decided against it. [H] has passed away last year and I cannot bring myself to post any links to this video because I do not want to seem crass and reference a dead person’s negative actions. I don’t want my message to be overshadowed by directly referencing a now deceased person’s controversy. Just know that the video very much resonated with me because of CC. It set the tone of friendship I was dealing with and soon coaxed into back into.

Second, rereading the texts from the phone I had in the first few months ago, I rediscovered something interesting. On May 9th 2016, I showed CC a picture of someone who I found to have resembled him. He replies with “Ah, no!”. I then told him about how I once saw someone who I thought was him, but wasn’t. I got the vibe that I slighted him, so I asked him if I upset him? He said “No, are you?” I replied “No you just seemed to be.” Then he stated this:

“Don’t send me pics of strangers anymore. That’s not appropriate!” 

This was before he started claiming me as his boyfriend when I had no idea we were a couple. I really should have noticed the signs and debunked this early on. I am a bit slow in picking up subtle things like that.

The other thing I forgot to mention last chapter was that CancerChaser asked me while I was inside his home (after apologizing for putting through his stupid smartphone nonsense) was that if he was a woman would I love and be with him. Trapped in his house I only told him what he wanted to hear, which was yes. I said that because I was very scared of him, especially if he would send me hate over simply questioning him of affording a luxury item and I was trapped in his home when he asked. Could you imagine if I was honest in that situation?  So yeah I had to lie, but he lied first, telling me he was taken then telling me he wasn’t. He does not deserve my honesty. He deserves much less now.

Now, for the first time, I am going to answer this question for real:

After we made up, things would be different. I now saw him as a potential danger. He was doing very good until the smartphone debacle. Now that I know how easy he can get upset, I needed to be on guard. I was a bit more distant to him. I did not see him too much compared when we were on better terms.

 There was a time one day (around a week after I last saw CC) where I was alone and I need a person to accompany me. The friend was not available that day so I needed someone else. I asked CC is he was available. He told me that he wasn’t and showed me a picture of his boyfriend that he was sleeping with. I told him that I am happy he has his boyfriend now. Never met that person at all, either. And I never heard about him since. I did get my friend who originally wanted to accompany me after all. Turns out his doctor’s appointment was much shorter than he thought.

 CC’s birthday was coming at some time at the end of the month. When I had money, depending on how much I have I would buy a friend of mine a gift. Or if I had nothing, I would try to give my friends something. I do not expect anything in return during my birthday. It is completely optional. I will be noting a special reference with curly bracket. Very important for much later to keep in mind.

 {ɑ} So for his birthday, I got him some cat toys, as he had a cat, and a birthday card. I don’t have pictures of the toys but these are a good example of what kind of toys I gave to CC. I do have a picture of the actual birthday card I gave to CC with his real name redacted. This act of generosity from me to him is crucial to what kind of person CC will turn out to be. At the time, CC seemed to be very appreciating of what I gave him and how I celebrated his birthday. I felt happy that I made him feel good during his birthday.

I’ve seen him once since then in July. He asked when I was going and I answered, to some party in Hoboken. I had fun in there. Not much I can remember. There were people in costume. I haven’t seen CC for the rest of the month. Pokemon Go was released in the first week of July. I was busy playing that game for the rest of the month. Tons of people today say that is game is dead, but it is not. There are still a local dedicated group of players in my local area. We still play that game. I must note that there is a gym and a PokeStop in very close proximity near where he lives, as in on the same block of his apartment. I try to not interact with that gym, if possible.

{3} In August, I was playing Go and he passed by me. He greeted me and it took a few moments for me to notice him. He asked me if I was playing that game. I answered “yes”. He went and started talking about how that game is dumb. I really did not appreciate how my passion was being pissed on by him, but that is nothing compared to what is coming next. We sat down near a bench and he wanted to ask if I could visit him again. I was trying to tell him when is it a good time because I had plans to go to NYC the next day, but he cuts me off and berates me for some reason. I think he was being envious and did not take kindly to other plans with higher priorities claiming my time for him. As I later found out CC does not care for any real life obligations or plans you made ahead of time, or anything like that; he will demand like a small immature child what he wants from you or he will throw a fit. Especially what happens over a year later from this incident. So the older man was throwing a fit at me because it seemed like he is not getting what he wants. Overwhelmed by the pressure, disrespectful and immature tone he was subjecting me to, I became very nervous. When I get nervous enough, I started having nervous laughter and he took that the wrong way. He thought I was laughing at his feelings that he had for me. I’m not kidding he actually told me that. I told him that I wasn’t laughing at him and it was me being nervous. I asked what is something I can do to make him feel better. He asked if I can give him $30. I didn’t have that kind of money. Luckily he did not seem to care I refused. He then changed his mind about me going into house and we both left.

Unlike the incident with the smartphone, this was all in real life. In front of my face, seeing everything in action, and hearing his own voice. No text attached to his phone number. Face to face. I was much less surprised about this since I was already subjected to unnecessary drama from the other incident.

I need to also make special mention of him asking for money. This is the only instance of him ever asking me for money. He has never done that at any time afterwards. If I was stretching the truth while writing this recollection, I would take something like that and run with it; creating multiple extra instances of him asking for money or change the amount he was asking for. I could also tie him into being no different as the beggar junkie from a previous chapter. But I am choosing not to lie and being as honest as I can. I do not need to lie, by just telling the truth is enough to show how horrible of disgrace CancerChaser is. Lying about my account here is useless and detrimental to my message.

I needed to express this because there is a huge culture on the internet of attacking people harshly for asking for money outside of charity. The term of asking for money is called e-begging and it is treated in a similar level of outrage to likes of mass murder, pedophilia, and rape. Making a campaign for raising money whether it is Indiegogo, Kickstarter, GoFundMe, or even embedding PayPal links; all of that considered one of the most egregious acts of taboo a human can commit and it is met with massive levels of scorn. I will be posting examples of outrage from this culture.

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Asking for money on the internet that does not go into charity  is considered that much a horrific crime and these videos prove it. I could have really lumped CC with the ebeggars. But I don't need to. He has done far much worse than ask me for money only one time. But do note that he asked for money.

Much worse than him asking for money is the incident is him lashing out at me in front of me in the street just because he seemed for things not to go his way and because I was laughing. He jumped at me for that. Once again, I did not mean to hurt his feelings in any way , but that did not stop him from giving me verbal assault, this time in the streets, in person; all because he thought things much differently than what I meant. He thinks he is too important for me to miss for some reason and that I needed to be with him for his own gain. CC is not my boss, roommate, or colleague. I don't actually owe him anything. He is not family. He never helped me at that point other be my friend, but hasn't done anything that others haven’t done better or anything unique. In fact, he came into my life for his interest. I loved how he went out of his way to be my friend and saw potential, but after the smart phone debacle, my view of his suffered greatly and I only kept him after his apology because I was fooled into thinking he could change. He sure did not change then and certainly not by now. Taking my laughter as an attack right away without context shows how oversensitive he acted. Just like then phone situation, he took something so miniscule that was never meant to be even meant to offend and used for a reason to abuse me.

{4} Is there anything I can't do to slight him? Just by laughing, just by asking if he is able to buy a phone. No context needed, he will treat you with verbal abuse. If he feels upset, he will lash out and take it out on you. There is another incident that happened, but I am not sure when did it take place, whether it was 2016 or 2017. We had a real life in person conversation and I noticed something odd about his teeth and simply asked him about it. Without revealing details about CC; he responded with something along the lines of: “So what!? Have a problem!?” in an aggressive tone. I paraphrased that last quote, to remove the details I am referring to.

Clearly CC proved himself to be reactive and abrasive for just about anything if he slightly gets angry at you. He is an abusive person who latches on you with a fake olive branch and starts attacking you when he feels like it. For the rest of the year I decided to stay away from him as much as possible and not speak to him anymore. I made sure to ignore him, not speak to him, not respond to him, nothing. His second chance is used up and I need to move on. I wish this story ended here, but honestly I am only slightly over a third of the way. It gets much worse, especially around the end.

Weeks later, I went to a convention, I spent $50 on a 3 day pass and it was a huge disappointment. The panels were lacking, the events were very sparse, and aside from the cosplayers, there was almost nothing to do. Half of the day I went to nearby park to play Pokemon Go. I caught my first Chansey nearby. On Sunday, I bumped onto a table, lost my balance, and twisted my left ankle horribly. I was a ton of pain. Convention staff did help me to my feet and after helping me icing my leg, I limped out and went home. Saw a doctor the next day. Doctor told me it was sprained and I was in crutches for 2 weeks. I was able to walk after I stopped using crutches, but could not walk too much without having pain.

3 weeks after my injury, I went to buy a device called Pokemon Go Plus to help out my Pokemon Go game progress. I had to do too much walking than I should and it hurt my injured ankle.  Returning home from the bus, I sat down on a bench to rest myself. CC came up to me and did his whole apology routine like before. The same stuff with his roommate and him fighting, him feeling angry. I just did not care this time. I decided to tell him that I had a girlfriend. I did not actually have one, but it was my way of giving him a hint to take. I didn’t want to seem like a jerk. But he did lie to me like that with him, having a roommate that was his boyfriend already than saying that the roommate is not his boyfriend. His lie was inconsistently told. My lie was more consistent and had a point. Its point was so he could leave me alone and not pursue me for a boyfriend.

Right now, I have a ton of mental things to sort out. Especially right now because of the effects of CC’s horrible actions that I will be talking about later on. This is why I am single and do not have a female partner of my own. I had to deal with my parents’ divorce, then the stepfamily coming in and abusing me consistently growing up. Those experiences convince me that I need to be good enough of a man to keep a relationship going until the day I die. I have too many faults I need to iron out before getting into a serious relationship. I did try to get in a relationship in college. But the woman rejected me and I moved on.

I actually thought if CancerChaser knew I had a partner already, he would respect that and I would be useless to him and he would leave me alone. I would later find out how wrong I was.

For the rest of the year, I had not much interaction with CC. He sent me some weird picture for some reason. It apparently was sent to the wrong person or something. I cannot remember too much from that. It was some weird picture of some guy or something. The phone would break so I don’t actually have the picture anymore. I do remember that picture was unsettling and freaked me out and I asked if he was ok or something. Also he left comments on a public Facebook post of mine. I deleted them for some reason.

Here is the whole conversation Facebook messenger conversation.

Also, he once found me outside the library and asked about my girlfriend. I showed a picture of a girl I knew and gave her name. I stated that she is my girlfriend. I haven’t talked to her in years. Don’t know much about her. I hope she never finds out that I made up a lie that we were to together. It was done out of necessity because I need to keep a potentially dangerous chubby chaser out. It never worked.

That is everything about CancerChaser that he did in 2016.

Have no recollection if I did meet up with on that Tuesday OR if it anything went on.

Even though, I did feel worried for him from weird ominous pictures. I don’t feel that way anymore. I don’t care what happens to CC. I have no positive feelings for him at all and I have an overload of resentment towards CC because of what he did in 2017.

EDIT: I forgot to mention my birthday was on December and he never told me “Happy Birthday” or even said “Happy Belated Birthday”. Keep that mind. By this Chapter I gave him a gift on his. This will be important later.