A note of advice for couples new to the Chastity Play from my mistress

If he likes to wear a chastity device then take advantage of it! Trust me you will NOT regret it! Chastity play is increasingly more commonplace than you might believe, you may possibly know people who may use Chastity play in their relationship but of course they’ve never told you. Chastity play combined with Tease & Denial also known as Edging can be a very powerful and erotic relationship factor for both of you. If you’re anything like I was when I was first told by my husband that he would like to be locked up then I know what you may be feeling. In the beginning I did not really understand it all that much, because I like to take care of myself that’s for sure (if you know what I mean wink, wink) but I also enjoy taking care of my husband by making him orgasm and I felt as though I would be leaving him out in a way since he would not always be orgasming after he would take care of me. I can confidently tell you to get that thought out of your head immediately! What I learned about Chastity play is the whole premise is about him pleasing you while sacrificing his short term pleasure. What I mean by this is that the part of Chastity play that is appealing to men like my husband (and I’m guessing yours since you’re reading this) is the fact that he does not have access to his manhood to self pleasure himself nor does he want to. I know sounds strange right? Because everyone enjoys a little self pleasure. The pleasure for the man is prolonged over what ever amount of time you see fit or agree upon. Believe it or not you are actually causing him MORE pleasure with Chastity play than if you were still in the same old routine however frequent or infrequent that may have been. How is that even possible? Well when the man is locked up his excitement and sexual arousal builds every day and once his sexual release does actually happen his orgasm will be abundantly more powerful and pleasurable. He will begin to become so enamored with you over this period as long as you don’t unlock him every other day/week or let him orgasm often. All you need is consistency and persistence. This is what I mean; If he knows you’ll unlock the device and have sex with him in two weeks, guaranteed then he will NOT moderate his behavior. He doesn’t have to in order to get what he wants, so why should he? His release should be dependent entirely upon your WHIM, which he must understand that you can change at will, whenever you like. That is persistence. One important note to mention is that just because you unlock him and it is time for his release it does not mean that you have to let him have a full blown orgasm or even let him have an orgasm at all. One way to achieve this is by incorporating tease and denial along with what is called ruined orgasms. The way that works is by you working him up to the brink of orgasm and then not letting him orgasm by immediately stopping contact with his penis, let him cool down a little bit and then go back at it working him up to the brink of orgasm again and then stopping the same as before, this can be done however many times you like (I prefer to do it three to four times minimum) and from there is where you decide if you want to let him orgasm or not. If not then it is simple, just lock him back up (sometimes ice may come in handy to reduce the erection in order to get him back in his device) if you do want him to ejaculate but don’t want him to lose all of the progress he’s built up in between releases then I suggest giving him a ruined orgasm. A ruined orgasm is where you repeat the same steps above but once you’ve denied him after repeating those steps a few times then you work him up to the brink of orgasm, push him right over the edge where he starts ejaculating but it is important to cease any and all contact with his penis and just let his ejaculate dribble out. He will have a very very small orgasm but it is actually less pleasurable than complete denial while simultaneously releasing his seminal fluid that has built up in between releases this lets him drain all of the built up fluid while also keeping his attitude and servitude in check. Sometimes I like to give my husband a few ruined orgasms back to back, this can be achieved within minutes of each other which can be fun. Remember just because you guys are engaging in a play session it does not mean that he has to be unlocked at all. Sometimes it is important for him to just please you in whatever way you want and him not be released from his device at all (sometimes a good tickle of his balls or a playing with his locked up manhood during a situation like this is a good teaser) Aside from that if he gives you attitude or snaps at you at any point during everyday life then you can add more time to his lockup. He doesn’t even have to know when he’ll be unlocked! One thing that really worked well for me would be to set a date to unlock him (I wouldn’t always tell him when this date was which would further drive him nuts) then the first few times he popped off at me in a distasteful manner I immediately said to him “That is it, I am tired of the way you think you can speak to me, so for that, I add two weeks to your lock up time.” Then if he questioned my authority or complained about me adding extra time then I would immediately say “That is another week added mister, do you want me to make it a solid month extra or longer before your little guy is let out?” This is key. He will then know that he is no longer permitted to speak to you wrongly unless he wants to wait even longer to be unlocked. Also I have had some fun with this in other ways of life. For example if he does not perform the chores he is supposed to in the amount of time he is supposed to then I add more time. My husband had a problem with chores and he no longer has that problem thanks to Chastity play. I took care of that problem similar to the attitude adjustment above, one day he did not vacuum, fold the laundry and clean the dishes and I added one month to his time. One time my husband tried to test me to see if I was serious and started to get lazy on me about the chores all week, so much so that I was completely fed up and told him that if he doesn’t have this house spotless in one hour then I will not unlock him for six months minimum! I gave him this task of an hour well knowing that there was no way possible he would be able to finish in that short amount of time and sure enough he did not so what happened next? You guessed it, that was a long six months for my husband but let me tell you after that was finished, WOW. Typically I would do a few chores around the house and he would do a few but now, he does ALL of them, voluntarily! It is amazing. I do not have to worry about any of them and I can just be the queen I now know I am meant to be. Moving on to the next important hurdle. Some women can’t stand the idea of going a long time without sex. That’s fair. Why should they? HE can wear a strap on. That’s right! Locked in chastity, with a strap on substituting for his sex organ. It’s probably bigger than his ever was anyway, and it’ll definitely last longer in bed! The Strap on needs to be a regular thing to reinforce your sexual pleasure is primary, plus he wants it to be. He craves to see you fulfilled with the highest level of sexual pleasure possible. So embrace it! At first using the Strap on may seem odd or it may even be a bit uncomfortable since it is most likely bigger than his manhood, but trust me stick with it. Try imagining that it is his penis and if you aren’t able to separate that from reality then embrace your inner bad girl. By that I mean if you can’t imagine it is his penis then imagine it is someone else’s! I know I know, sounds too dirty right? Well it is not. He doesn’t have to know if you don’t want him to so let your bad girl side take over and thank me later. After a few times you will really begin to enjoy the pleasure. There is also his hands and his mouth, which I recommend that you make very liberal use of multiple times a day. I enjoy making him wake up early in the morning before I start getting ready for the day and pleasuring me. One very erotically satisfying practice that has become routine happens outside of the bedroom often when we are watching television together or lounging around the house in general I will say “Come pleasure me, now” or sometimes when I am feeling really dirty I will simply say “Eat” while pointing to my nether regions, And I will have him do this while I continue to watch whatever television program we’re in the middle of watching or if I am on the laptop surfing the web I will continue as if nothing has changed. This really supercharges his sexual servitude and he is now better at it then he ever was before. There are a multitude of options in addition to the Strap on. The lesson he is learning is that your sexual gratification does not depend upon him, but HIS does depend upon your mood. But to make that lesson stick, you have to keep on top of it. CONSTANTLY tease and deny him. Wear the keys to his locked penis on your earrings, a charm bracelet, a necklace or even an anklet… IN PUBLIC! Threaten to expose his new status to your friends. Take a picture. Take a selfie next to his locked cock. Threaten to post them on the internet. Randomly play with his lock, and grope his caged cock while walking by him at home OR in public. If you just lock it and forget it, then you aren’t really playing the game and you will not see the benefits. There is no denial without (a lot of ) teasing. But there are exceptions such as life. Sometimes life happens and there’s nothing you can do about it. The only times my husband is ever unlocked outside of tease and denial time is for bathing purposes to shower and shave his genital region regularly which is somewhat required because it is far more comfortable for men to wear Chastity devices while shaved otherwise it is quite painful. When it comes to him bathing I can now trust him to bathe on his own without my supervision (even though sometimes I will supervise just to remind him I’m in charge) but when we first started this I couldn’t. I thought I could take his word for it, in fact, it was going well or at least I thought so until one day I caught him trying to jerk off in the shower which I put a stop to immediately. We had to work up to where we are now. After I caught him I made it a rule that I had to supervise every shower, I would make him shower as he normally would but when it came to his genitals I would be the one to wash them because I did not want him giving himself an extra tug. This typically was the same for shaving, I would have him stand up in the tub while I sat on our toilet and would shave him, again this was because I did not want to give him a chance to give himself an extra tug or feel himself. We don’t have to do that all the time now but ever so often I will return to that practice surprising him when I do. I do not like him touching his genitals when unlocking him so I usually have him interlock his fingers behind his back or tie his wrist to the chair (which also comes in handy during a tease session) Now you might be wondering as I had originally, what if he is locked up for a good amount of time will his body be negatively affected without ejaculation and the answer is yes AND no. Yes because his body is used to ejaculating frequently due to his masturbatory habits in addition to sex with you. No because it will not affect him too bad as long as there is some type of release. The main part to be concerned about is his prostate becoming too full and causing problems down the road. If he does have habits of masturbating more times a week than having sex with you then his prostate will fill up quickly. This was the case with my husband, after a little time, research and practice I learned how to effectively relieve this problem. I realize that you may be squeamish about the following subject but if we’re being honest here then I can confidently tell you there is nothing to be squeamish about just practice hygiene which I’ll explain later. The absolute best way to start off is by testing the waters by vigorously rubbing his perineum when you two have sex of any kind. The perineum is the area of skin located between his balls and his anus. If you rub that area with a good amount of force you can partially rub his prostate which is located almost directly under the perineum. You will know right away when you’re doing it right by his reaction alone, for instance, when I started this my husband would gyrate his pelvis up and sometimes he would even moan sporadically. This became a common practice and this is where the research took place. I found that there is one way for sure to relieve the pressure of his very full prostate. The perineum is a good start but unfortunately it does not generate much contact with the prostate nor is it enough to prompt a release. The only way to way to engage the prostate directly is through his anus. Neither of you may be too keen on the idea to begin with but I guarantee, once done,that you will both enjoy it. So there are multiple ways to accomplish this whether it be with your fingers (with or without latex gloves), with a prostate stimulator toy (which are very common for men to use and inexpensive), or in the advanced stages you could really shake things up and use the Strap on by wearing it (which is mind blowing to me and my husband has come to really enjoy being on the receiving end). The first step should always be hygiene, hygiene and more hygiene. The best way is to have him use an enema beforehand to clean himself out (follow instructions on packaging), then have him use soap and water or just take a shower and then you’re ready to play simple as that. There will be no leftovers of anything that will gross anyone out and it’s completely sanitary. The second step is choosing whether or not you want to unlock him for this experience. For the record, the answer is no he does not need to be unlocked in order to be relieved of the full prostate. If you choose not to use your fingers that is fine of course, you will know when you hit the prostate by his reaction. It will be unlike anything he has ever experienced and to most men it is very pleasurable. Once the prostate is stimulated for the correct amount of time (which every man is different some take only a minute while some take upwards of ten to fifteen minutes) the prostate will begin to leak the fluid out of his penis. It is important to mention that just because he may start to leak fluid does not mean it is fully relieved. You will know when his prostate is fully relieved once it stops leaking completely after it has noticeably began to leak and even then sometimes I like to give him a little extra treatment (wink wink). This should be done at least once every two weeks but I have found that once a week if not twice a week is best. It has created a stronger bond between my husband and I than I would have ever imagined.

Another interesting dynamic to introduce into a male Chastity relationship is a contract. This of course would be done once the couple felt comfortable enough with the arrangement and came to a mutual agreement that Chastity play has proven beneficial for both. So the next step would be a contract just to lay everything out in black and white so there is no room for miscommunication (there are many examples of Chastity relationship contracts on the web if you choose this route). It is a very kinky step but if you both agree it is beneficial and it should continue then it is a step that could help improve it even more although a contract is not required.

The most important thing to take away from this is that Chastity play when done correctly will significantly improve his attitude, and make him more generous, caring, kind, respectful, and loving. It will help soften the sharper edges of his me-first masculinity. It will make him more of a listener than a talker. If you have issues with him speaking to you in ways that do not please you then this will remedy that in a snap of a finger. I promise you will never regret beginning this journey.