Me: Darth Sidious! The story about Plagueis is bullshit because there’s no way a Sith Lord who has “people he cares about” ever existed. 
Darth Sidious: well that is just mean and prejudiced. I’m a Sith and I care about people.
Me: oh yeah? Who?
Darth Sidious: well, me mostly. But I’m people. That still counts!