Black Hair Couple Interactions: Boyfriend Playing with his Black Girlfriend’s Hair
Judefranknoir asked:
Hi there!! Do you have any tips or resources for describing how one would go about playing with a Black person's hair without hurting them? I thought I saw a resource on your blog before but I can't seem to find it now. I want the girl and her boyfriend (both Black) to have a cute moment, not cause each other physical pain...Thank you so much <3
This will entirely depend on the specific hair and style the character is wearing. I’ll try to offer some suggestions on how one might play with the character’s hair depending on their style.
Curly, coils
- Wrap one of her curls around his finger, carefully following the curl pattern to avoid tangling.
- Run a hand over her curls instead of pushing it through each individual strand
- Push one of her loosened curls in place or behind her ear
Braids or dreads
- Running a hand over her braids instead of pushing it through each individual strand
- Playing with individual braids or dreads
Straightened
- As you would play with straight hair, but avoid touching with wet hands, which would revert hair back to a curly state.
Afro / Puff or puffs
- Pat or fluff at the fro (but not like she’s a pet, please!)
- Fluff the fro back out (my husband automatically does this to me after I've been laying back in my car’s seat. The seat flattens out my fro/ curls!)
Special / intricate style
If it’s something where touching it might get things out of place, and there’s a lot of product in it, consider instead….
- Only briefly floating hand over hair, or just touching their face
- Admiring the style with a compliment to show appreciation of how good it looks
- This will depend on style and the person
Other thoughts
The partner(s) could also:
- Help braid, style, wash and / or massage their scalp. Very cute!
- Retrieve their silk bonnet or head scarf at night
- Help wrap their hair in a scarf
A special note: generally Black people are not happy with random strangers, family or friends touching and petting them without asking.
Obviously, boundaries may differ within a close kinship or relationship.
- Some would like their partner to ask at least the first time
- Some won’t mind at all and don’t feel they need to grant an okay
- Other folks generally don’t want their hair touched at all
- Also, their feelings about it may depend on if they have a specific style they’re trying to maintain.
Again, this will vary by person. I hope this gives some ideas!
~Mod Colette